You ever feel like fate's waving it's hands right in front of your face but you still can't figure out what it all means?

I can't explain this feeling in words but it's one that eventually comes around again and again over time. It's like I know this isn't what I'm supposed to be doing with my life.

I'm having a greater calling moment. I just wish I knew what that calling was.

Stolen from: notresponding

The first Seven (7) people to respond to this post will get something made by me.

This offer does have some restrictions and limitations:

- I make no guarantees that you will like what I make.
- What I create will be just for you.
- It'll be done this year (2009).
- You have no clue what it's going to be. It may be a mix CD. It may be a poem. I may draw or paint something. I might bake you something and mail it to you. Who knows? Not you, that's for sure!
- I reserve the right to do something extremely strange.

The catch? Oh, the catch is that you have to put this in your journal as well, if you expect me to do something for you!

Dear People of the World,

I still love LiveJournal, we'll be best friends til the end and all, but in these modern times sometimes you just have to say it in 140 characters or less.

http://twitter.com/jcollis87

That is all.

Signed,

The ONE and ONLY Management

After a hectic few months, I finally have some projects that are in the early stages. But since nothing is worth posting about yet, here instead is a list of phrases that (at the time of this posting) turn up no hits on Google:

“ate a violin”
“driver-side bidet”
“unlike normal furries,”
“Sarah, plain and tall and a cyborg”
“people are too civil on the internet”
“his penis shattered my world”
“more like LAME-arkian theory”
“my little horse must think it gay”
“it turned out her bottom half was a robot”
“Aww, a baby hooker!”

Here are some phrases that I had hoped were original when I typed them in but was disappointed:

“full-body glissando”
“passenger-side bidet”
“underwater Linux”
“Nu-Polka”
“erotic colonoscopy”
“Spocktoberfest”
“Frankly, my dear, I don’t give a frack.”
“my bologna has a first name, it’s A-D-O-L-F”

Who's listening to Christmas music at 5:23 in the morning?

Fuckin' right!

I feel like I am in a weird place in my life.

I'm being a horrible bitch today and I know it. I'm pissed, I'm fucking pissed and I have every right in the world to be. There is only so many times one person can blow something off. You can only go on pretending things aren't there for so long. Eventually the shit will hit the fan. We all have our straw that breaks the camel's back. So yes, I am acting incredibly bitchy to the one person I wish would be nicer to me. Funny how life works that way right? The worst part? I know this is karma getting me back for the bad things I did to someone else in much the same way. Ultimately, I do deserve this. I'm getting mine. Doesn't make me any less angry but at least I can have some perspective. Maybe tomorrow I will forget, Maybe tonight it will be over and it won't even matter tomorrow, maybe... well who fucking cares about maybe.

Day One of two weeks off? I give it a 5 on a scale of 10.

AH! Having internet that works like it is supposed to is a wonderful thing. A wonderful thing I'm going to miss in less than thirty minutes.

I might have to give in. It's too frustrating even if it is free.

Damn.

"beanies for 5 dollars!!"
"how much?"
"5 dollars!"
"for what?"
"beanies!"
...

Now that was a good trip to Duluth. I was going to write all about it yesterday and should have cause it would have been much better but I fell asleep. There were just funny little things that happened that I want to remember and if reading all my old journal entries taught me anything it's that I forget alot. So, Duluth in summary:

- The entire 2 hour drive up there was a war. A war between me and every other single car on the road. Specifically two trucks with boats and a truck with the liscense plate Rat 13. I won everytime! Take that egotistical men with trucks. The boat guys weren't too bad. They just shot evil looks and made me laugh. Rat 13 though was a dick. That's right a dick. He was flashing his lights at me like I was going 50 and we were going at least 80-85 in a 70 speed limit zone. So he's flashing his lights at me and then manages to finally get ahead once. Well once he's ahead he's a bastard. Everytime I'd try to change lanes he would change lanes. Like on repeat. We were weaving in unison. So I got behind him and flashed my lights at him just to be a bitch. He deserved it. Then finally I tricked him and got ahead. War won again! Seriously though, this made the entire 2 hour drive up there hilarious and not that bad at all. It was fun to play war with all those psychos.

- Betty and her pie. Fuckin' Betty. So we get to Duluth, starving. We decide since the we've wanted pie since the week before and still hadn't got it we should go to the infamous Betty's Pies. So since my sidekick doesn't get data service in Duluth (but does in Moose Lake for some odd reason) we go to the library and get directions. This leads us to my new favorite place, The North Shore. THE SCENIC ROUTE UP THE NORTH SHORE. Quick to end, we never made it to Betty's Pies. But then again as I said later, if we would have found Betty and her pie the trip would have had purpose and this was a trip without purpose. There was no good reason what so ever to take a day trip to Duluth but we did anyways. Also, there were signs everywhere for wildrice. What is up with that? Made me want wild rice soup.

- I hadn't been to Duluth in YEARS until yesterday. Some how though I knew how to get to the mall. Funny how I remembered that. Well still hungry, like 2 hours after getting to Duluth we make it to food. Then manage to wander around aimlessly at the mall, Superior Street, etc. Then home. The trip home was funny too. Visit Moose Lake sometime. You will never feel so out of place so close to your own hometown. Weird.

Sunday is my bum day. I never really do anything of interest on Sunday. It's devoted to spending all my time trying to remember that I am doing Laundry. I'm so horrible at doing laundry! I just don't have the attention span for it or something, seriously. I always start a load, forget for about two hours, start another load, forget, it takes me literally all day to get it done. Mostly because I leave it sit while I'm distracted by something online. The internet is the debil. Not the devil, the debil. There's a difference, I swear.

Today though was Mother's Day which meant I had to get up at the ungodly weekend hour of seven in the morning. We had to be at some restaurant at ten and we were leaving at nine. Yeah, anyways, I, the young irresponsible one, got up on time and got ready all perfect and what not. My mom however woke up at eight thirty, rushed, and proceeded to take her pissed off attitude out on me. That was bullshit. My family is horrible before, on, and after every single holiday event. They are just not good at it one bit. They always get pissed off and crabby and feel the need to make everyone else feel that way so they feel better and can yell at you for your bad mood. It's a vicious cycle. Thank god I don't technically live at home anymore. IT'S STILL THEIR FAULT FOR FOLLOWING ME WHEN I MOVED OUT AND I'M NOT CHANGING MY STORY FOR NOTHING.

What else? I finally got my final MPW show DVD from Mr. Arik Cannon. It came with a picture of Rain's boobs and another flyer for F1RST Wrestling. I'd go but it's on a Sunday and yeah, work. Work eats my soul Monday thru Thursday. I am not a person on those days. Soon to be Monday through Friday again. Next month it looks like we'll be going back to five, ten hour days. Then in September five ten hour days plus one eight hour saturday. So fifty eight hours a week. I'll be supremely rich with no where to spend it. Should make for a nice giving Christmas season though.

The big surprise? I kind of do want to go back to fifty hour weeks. They aren't that bad and the money is hella good. Plus, if I worked a month of that before my vacation I would have a good amount saved for it and the month I work of that after I get back would put me back at start even if I spent more than I had saved for my vacation. This of course means it's soooooo happening. I'm leaving June 30th for somewhere and not coming back for at least two solid weeks. Last night I checked out some ideas online and the current winner is a 12 day cruise through the Mediterranean. Bad ass. I figure I'll give myself another couple weeks to decide though. I'll officially book by the end of May or Early June. Then it's away I go!

Last note: I wish I could convert to Judaism already. My grandma nixed it until she goes but I might have to convince her otherwise. I have some damn good reasons outside of the religion side too. Stupid being born into a Catholic family. I am not Catholic. I am so not Catholic at all. I'd be a better Pagan then I would be a better Catholic. Yes. Point proven.

OH! Really Final Note: The Office was just as good as I predicted. Thank you and Goodnight.

So who fell asleep and missed The Office today? YEAH ME. Which if you know me at all and my love for The Office this is a big deal. Pam finally confessed! PAM TOLD JIM AND I MISSED IT. Godfuckdammit. iTunes better get it's ass in gear and upload that asap not in two days. Fuck two days. I need to see that episode. It looks so badass. Especially the JAM part. I support JAM forever. Hell to the yes.

Why am I awake at the ungodly hour of 3:03 in the morning? Previous said nap. So now I'm all wide awake and bored because nobody is ever around at this fine hour. Fucking' a. Well I'm not even usually around at this hour, only on weekends. If I had my way it'd be more often. My natural inner clock is a night owl. I'd sleep during the day like a vampire if I could but I can't so I don't. Fate's a bitch. You know what's worse? When you realize that the shitty thing going on right now in life is due to the shitty thing you did awhile back. Karma, people. It's the true bitch of the universe. Don't even get me started. You always get back what you send out and now I'm just getting mine. It's all good. I'm coping. Better now that I figured it out too.

Random thought: I keep saying rock on and it reminds me of Maxx. She said that whole "Rock off. We have to save the valuable rock power." or whatever it was and now whenever I say rock on I think of that. It's weird. I kind of miss her, I do admit. While we have both changed to the point I'm not sure we'll ever be friends like we once were, every now and then I feel it's kind of sad we don't talk at all anymore. Things were never the same after that one big blowout and things now are really really far gone. It's something in the past and I'm okay with that. It's more of a nostalgic feeling I have now. I always feel nostalgic.

Speaking of, why the hell can't I ever get over that Nine Inch Nails song? I swear to god it's going to haunt me for the rest of eternity. Maybe I do need therapy. Is it just me or is it extremely hard to forget some people? There's this one person, we haven't even spoken in years. But every now and then I think of him. It's a history I haven't been able to shake. Admittley I've come a long long way over the years on getting over this. It's just not over yet and it's been so long. Why the hell does it take so long? I feel like I should be over it, moved on, never think of it again. But I know that's not logical. That time in my life changed things and it's always going to be an important memory. It's not going to go away and really I am at a good place with it.

Tomorrow I'm going out because for once Ford Motor Company loves me and I have my Friday's back. Friday is totally a day for the living. Maybe some Uptown again. I like the stores. Maybe more updating? What the hell. I've apparently been on a roll. It's a summer miracle. I updated LJ! Rejoice.

I'm doing Tae-bo for Jesus.

Yeah yeah, stolen, quiz, blog thing.

Go to imdb.com & look up ten of your favorite movies. Post three imdb plot keywords for each movie, have your friends guess the movie titles!

1. Ice, Masturbation, Elephant (2004)
2. Kneecapping, Pedophelia, Foot Fetish (2003)
3. Severed Arm, Male Nudity, Rite of Passage (2006) [300]
4. Stock Market Crash, Broken Engagment, Hunting (1958)
5. Blood Splatter, Catholic Church, Dysfunctional Family (1972) [THE GODFATHER]
6. Fried Chicken, Porn Magazine, Flight School (2006) [LITTLE MISS SUNSHINE]
7. Widower, Dentist, Escape Attempt (2003)
8. Emotional Depression, Manuscript, Young Love (1994)
9. Reverse Footage, Fat Suit, Writer's Block (2001)
10. Homosexual, Secret Door, Yelling (1985)

I'm sitting in a coffee shop listening to Muse's Showbiz. This is love. Love on so many levels. For one, Showbiz can pretty much only be found in the UK that is of course unless you find kickass music places like Electric Fetus. So glad I made a detour there today, one of many many detours before I made it to Plan B. I got some kickass thing along with my CD there. Namely a shirt that says I hate your band. I also got some more buttons for my seatbelt purse because they just look cool on there. That purse is turning into one hell of a masterpiece. I got this little keychain string guy for it too that's a pirate. It's something you'd have to see. Maybe I'll get a picture of it once I get a camera. He's cute though, made from only one sting, and weilding a little paperclip sword. He will definitely help me find the booty.

I was sitting at home today, it was raining, I had been up for an hour or two and I figured, "Hey, I better get out today." I like to see the world. If I stay in everyday I seriously start to go stir crazy. So I get the idea in my head to go to a groovy little coffee shop, grab a drink, and sit down for a bit. Plan B is the destination of choice which is in Uptown. Well I took probably the longest, most round about way to get there. I ended up downtown first which wasn't too bad but then some how made it to Roseville before giving up and taking the freeway where I missed the 94 exit and had to go back. Then I got completely distracted and had to find my way to Electric Fetus. Now I'm finally here, like three hours later. Go me.

I've been dreaming about vacation. In July I'm going to get laid off for two whole weeks and a big part of me wants to travel those entire two weeks. I'm thinking a detour to possibly Chicago, Florida, somewhere then end up in the UK for the last leg before returning home. The UK definitely needs to happen. It captured my heart years ago and has held on tight ever since. One day I hope I get to move there and live the life I think I should be living.

For now though I'm stuck doing the same thing everyday and it's not overly horrible. Sometimes I get really creative because my mind has all this time to just wander. I have a problem following through with things though. I get a great idea and just let it lie. One of these days I'll solve that whole procastination issue. I'm a last minute kind of person who needs more motivation. Find motivation, I'm putting that on the check list.

I guess I'd just update this thing because I never ever do. I'm done with it already though. Love to read LJ just not write in it so much. This is a really good cd. MUSE is love.

Something changed when I woke up this morning and I'm going to run with it. I feel like a revolution is beginning. I can feel the shift in the wind, the brisk rush of fuel for the fire. I want to get out and never come back. I want to run for miles and miles. I want to change just to shove it in all their faces. It's a new day, a new era. My personal revolution starts today.

"No one's going to take me alive. The time has come to make things right. You and I must fight for our rights. You and I must fight to survive."

Considering who I am though and what I've done in the past I feel like I need to run before the fuel runs out. You never know when the proverbial bottom will fall out from under you. So run I will, right now.

Ladies and Gentlemen of the MVM;

As of 6:20 PM CST, Friday activities have been cancelled. Stay tuned to Channel 4, WCCO, for further updates.

Signed,

The Management.